‘Humpty,’ I said, ‘let’s have a look at church websites.’
‘Careful,’ he replied.
‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘Now that everybody has read Ben Lindsay’s book they won’t be in for any shocks.’
‘We start with St Paul’s, Kingston Hill, ten miles south-west of Charing Cross. Manifestly throbbing with life, it takes no prisoners. It punches home the slogan ‘Church is not a building.’ Like many churches it has mug-shots of its leadership team – bright, cheerful and 100 per cent white. Oh dear!
‘We look in at Holy Trinity, Gateshead. Not exactly a tourist centre, this Geordie enclave sees itself as a virtual family church, offering amongst other things ‘a fun service’. It does what few church websites do, offers a detailed manifesto ‘What we believe’. That takes it beyond the blameless ‘welcome, stranger’ formula of many websites.
‘St James’s, Carlisle slams its identity at the visitor with a great ‘You Tube’ intro and goes on tirelessly to beat the big drum. Its leadership is young, sparkling and 100 per cent white. Hmm.
‘Christ Church, Southport is restrained, almost diffident. Its website looks as though it owes its origin to a typewritten document. It gains a rough but convincing authenticity. WYSIWYG. There is no attempt to be emollient.
‘No mug-shots. No big drum. St Mary’s, Luton in the town centre eschews any crash-bang-wallop approach. But it has a place for big pictures and it sets out its stall with panache.
‘Waterfront churches, Ipswich introduce themselves as three churches with an elegant taste in typography and artwork. They also have a winning and jargon-free style when they describe themselves. The visitor finds himself willy-nilly tempted to discover more about Holy Trinity and the other two churches.
‘Burford parish church, Oxfordshire has a history. In 1649 Levellers, a dissident group, were holed up in the building until they were winkled out and the leaders shot. There are now six churches in the group. It has a lively programme and, ahem, a 100 per cent white leadership.
‘Back to London and to the magnificent Hawksmoor landmark of Christ Church, Spitalfields. ‘Everything we do is focused on Jesus,’ says the website. And that includes Alpha. Somewhat surprisingly the team is almost entirely white.’
‘Well, Humpty?’
‘Well… Perhaps they have yet to read Lindsay’s book after all. You must be patient.’
I don’t know what I’d do without Humpty.
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