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Writer's pictureRevd John King

FALLING IN LOVE

Falling? Investors know all about it. They see the value of their shares tumbling. Airlines know all about it. They see empty planes parked in the open with nowhere to go. Old people know all about it. Their balance is erratic and a sudden turn can leave them flat on the deck. Falling is something that happens all the time. Gravity rules. Falling, however, is about more than gravity. We hardly notice that the word is like a chameleon: if acquires flavours and delicacies galore. It has lost its precision. It has come to be an all-purpose word like ‘fantastic’ or ‘epicentre’ or ‘extremist’.


What we call falling needs examination. When we talk about the value of the pound falling against other currencies we are noticing an event beyond our immediate control. The same is true about the numbers of passengers passing through Heathrow and Gatwick. It is not quite the same when we talk about the reduction in the area of rain-forests or the population of hedge-hogs. Our influence on our environment is the product of incalculable day-to-day decisions by vast numbers of people. Stumbling over tilted paving-stones is one thing. Falling out of the Cabinet in a reshuffle is something else. Falling prey to a pandemic is something else again.


Lurking at most of those levels of meaning is control. It is pivotal. It is easy to lose control of a sophisticated economy. It is also easy to lose control of one’s emotions. A red face and a tendency to shout are clear signals. We fall victim to our passions. Foremost at this level is what we call falling in love. It is commonly understood as a self-authenticating experience that transcends conventional ethics. Emily Bronte’s ‘Wuthering Heights’ is an example of tumultuous passion sweeping away its victim willy-nilly. Marlene Dietrich put a question-mark against such turbulence. She simply added the word ‘again’ to ‘Falling in love’. Romance has to survive an encounter with reality. And the reality is that falling in love is not a unique lifetime experience; it is often repetitive.


Perhaps on the run-up to St Valentine’s day we shall look for guidance in the Scriptures about falling in love. We shall look in vain. We have the exquisite ‘Song of Solomon’, a collection of poems that celebrate the experience of sexual rapture. But we shall be disappointed if when we search the Scriptures to find romantic love we find no mention of it. Mind you, we shall find no mention of the choice between bourgeois or bohemian life-styles and just as few words of wisdom about arranged marriages as opposed to ‘falling in love’ marriages. We have just the warning about being yoked together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6.14).


Falling in love may or may not be a decisive event in life. Some make a level-headed choice of life-partner. Some let the heart rule the head. There are more ways of killing a cat than choking it with cream.


CORRECTION

Stephen Gardner is the Vicar of All Saints, Woodlands and Highfields, not All Saints, Intake. My apologies.


If you have a comment on this post please send an email to Revd John King at johnc.king@talktalk.net Edited extracts may be published. To forward this to a friend click on the chain icon below.

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