‘I turned over a new leaf’’ ‘I turned my life around.’ These are ways in which people describe a turning-point in their lives. How does Paul describe this? He surprises us. We might have expected him to use the word ‘conversion’. He does not. It or one of its cognates certainly occurs in the New Testament. But the word ‘convert’ comes from a Greek word that merely means ‘turn’. We might say to a person asking for directions. ‘Take the first turning on the right.’ Or ‘Turn left at the Dog and Duck.’ Conversion is a useful word. But there’s not much in it.
Paul goes for something more precise. ‘I was apprehended,’ he says. Here are three words that make us stop and think. Apprehended? Does Paul mean he was arrested, seized, by Jesus Christ? H certainly does. See Philippians 3.12.) And that leads us very far on from the notion of our choosing a turning-point. It suggests a supernatural event. It was something that happened to Paul – coming at him from out of the blue, if you like. It was God’s grace in action.
‘I obtained mercy,’ Paul says (1 Timothy 1.13). Think of a knight at Agincourt unhorsed, lying on the ground with armour the weight of a washing-machine keeping him from getting up and fighting. A foot-soldier is at his throat with a knife. If it’s the knight’s lucky day, he will be spared. That’s the best he can hope for. When the Bible insists that we are sinners, we are being urged to pray ‘Lord, have mercy.’ We can do no better. We have no choice. It is a prayer we can pray as long as life endures. We throw ourselves upon God’s mercy in Christ.
‘God called me,’ said Paul (Galatians 1.15) Again we have stress on God’s initiative. Our faith is not something we ourselves contrive. It is not coming from inside of us. We hear a call and respond. It may come from a conversation with a friend, a timely word from a preacher, a chapter in a book. All we do is respond. The penniless man holds out his hand to receive a gift.
And the outcome? Another three-word phrase ‘man in Christ’ sums up the matter. Paul does not talk about becoming a Christian. The words he uses up-end any easy assumptions we may have. We have been looking through the wrong end of the telescope. Paul turns the telescope round and we see things from another point of view altogether. Like us, Paul is now a changed man (2 Corinthians 12.2). It is not through his choice, not through his doing. It is something God has accomplished.
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